Too Many Tabs Open

This print totally sums up both my brain and my computer this week. 

My laptop, literally, has had an unmanageable, headache-inducing amount of tabs open the past few days as I try to finalize the plans (and all the little details) concerning my best friend's bridal shower and bachelorette party, happening next month in Southern California. I can't wait to share all about these parties but for now some of it is top secret! I can tell you we'll be having her final fling before the ring in sunny San Diego, with a day of wine tasting in Temecula. And! I just got the shower invitations delivered to my doorstep minutes ago and they look amazing. So, all in all, exciting stuff, but there's still lots to do and plan and book. I was up on the phone with the bride-to-be until the wee hours of the morning last night and my cup of hazelnut coffee just isn't enough to remedy having only five hours of sleep.

Second, my brain has been swirling with my own personal to-dos, from the mundane (do the laundry, clean the dishes, schedule doctor appointments and vet visits) to the meaningful (planning for 2015, setting goals, being bold and taking action).

Yes, too many tabs open indeed. So off I go to start closing some... Just gotta breathe, exhale, focus. And get 'er done.

Do you feel like your to-do lists are miles long, too? What tabs are lingering open in your brain?

(Art print by A Pair of Pears)

Inspiration for the New Year

As we are on the precipice of a new year, I gathered together a collection of inspiring words that I'd like to stitch to my heart and carry with me, to motivate me, through 2015. If I had to choose one simple phrase as a theme of sorts for the coming year, it would be this: BE BOLD. I want to live boldly, laugh boldly, love boldly. I want to embrace the uncertain future and all its possibilities. I want to take risks, do what makes my heart sing and not fear failure. If anything, I want to welcome failure, learn from it, grow from it, and keep on going. I desire bravery, courageousness. I want to cultivate fierceness. As incredibly hard as it is for me, the one who hates change and feeling uncomfortable, I want to break out of the old habits weighing me down, live with intent and create magic.

Of course I'd like to be more organized, quit biting my nails (again!), make healthier food choices, exercise more, get my bank account on an upward swing... All those things I resolve to do every year. But I think that striving to live a more purpose-driven life will lead to a happier and more fulfilled me, and many of those things will just naturally fall into place.

Now, I know there is nothing magic about January 1. And I will need to remember that when I inevitably fumble in my grand (but doable, step-by-step) resolutions. Every day is a new day for a great day. Nevertheless, New Year's Eve does prompt reflection and the feeling that the slate is being wiped clean to start fresh and anew. So tonight, when the clock strikes twelve, I will toast to 2015 and welcome all that is to come and all that can be with open arms and a bold heart.

Do you make resolutions? If you had to pick a word, or a few words, to guide you through 2015, what would you choose?

(Image sources: Fierce, Be Brave, Start Today, Do Things,

 Less Habit, More Intent, She Believed, Don't Compare, 

Go Do Them, Why Not, Happy and Bright, and Magic)

Fri-YAY for the Best Days

Saturday and Sunday are always the best days. Too bad there's not more of 'em! But I guess having just two days for going on adventures or simply doing nothing provides the motivation to make the most of them-- whatever you do, or don't do.

This weekend, the hubby and I do have plans. New friends invited us to tag along with them on Saturday night to Guavaween, a "Voodoo Carnival" in Ybor City. I did a little googling and discovered it is quite the rowdy and rollicking Halloween party, with booze and beads, burlesque and side show acts, street performers and a costume contest. So, as to blend in with the wild crowd, I may have to throw together some kind of edgy, creative costume in a jiffy. We'll see how that goes. I was kind of looking forward to not having to purchase a tacky, over-priced costume this year... I need inventive, affordable ideas post-haste!

Sunday is all about football, of course. But instead of heading to a bar, we'll actually be at a game! GT's Coast Guard shipmates (and their girlfriends/spouses) are gathering at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa for tailgating, and then we'll go inside to watch the Tampa Bay Buccaneers take on the Minnesota Vikings. It'll be my second time at an NFL game and while I'm not the biggest football fan, I am excited to drink some beer, eat a mustard-topped hot dog and meet some new people. 

I'm also thrilled that the weather will be much nicer than my first NFL game, when we saw the Chargers at home in San Diego and basically melted in our unshaded seats, suffering through each quarter in sweltering 100+ degree heat. Yuck. I couldn't even pretend to have fun that day. Even GT, the biggest Chargers fan ever, was miserable. Fortunately, the forecast this weekend is predicting temps in the high 70s and low 80s. Perfect. That's Florida in the fall.

Have a great weekend!

(Image via A Fabulous Fete)

On Emotions

"Turn everything off and listen to yourself."

For me, that means staring at a blank document, wondering what to write, knowing but then wondering how and if I should. But I force my fingers to type because, when I do, inevitably my feelings start pouring out. So here it is:

This week has been a little lonely.

Lonely is how I have felt often since moving to Florida. But this week the emotion stung sharper since my Coast Guard husband is underway. It's his second time getting underway here, on his boat in St. Petersburg, but the first time only lasted a couple days due to engine trouble. This time the boat is working fine. He's been gone since Monday and won't be coming back for a few more days.

Back in San Diego, when we started dating, GT was working in a land job, so I haven't had much experience with him getting underway. He was temporarily assigned to a boat for about two months last summer, but it didn't take him from home more than once, maybe twice, and not for long. He was in Charleston, South Carolina, for six weeks last fall, training to become a boarding officer. He missed our two-year dating anniversary (Oct. 29) but was back just in time for Thanksgiving. At the time I thankfully had a job to distract me from his absence, not to mention I was in the throes of planning a wedding.

It's something I have to get used to, him being gone from time to time. That's the life of a military wife. I know I have it easy, too. Some people's spouses are gone for months, a year, at a time. Later in his career, GT may be gone for a month or two or three, depending on the boat. I don't even want to think about what it will be like when we have kids. But I'm not going to apologize or minimize my feelings. I'm lonely. Right now. And it's not just because he is underway. The emotion is most certainly compounded by my current jobless and friendless state.

GT was able to call me this morning on a break. When he told me he wouldn't be home for three more days, I felt tears threatening to fall. I felt stupid; stupid for being so emotional. He said he and the crew would have liberty tonight and tomorrow, and that they were going to go out to blow off some steam. Jealousy crept in, mixing with loneliness. I proceeded to tell him how I got ready yesterday—put on makeup, and clothes you can't sleep in—to go pay a bill he forgot to take care of before he left, and when I got in my car I noticed a warning light glowing on the dash. The low-tire-pressure light. I got out, checked the tires and the light was right, all four looked saggy, in my non-expert opinion. Normally, I'd risk it since I just had to drive five minutes down the road but then it occurred to me: If my tire does blow and I get stuck on the side of the road with a flat, then what? I have no friends, no family, to call to come help me. So I turned the engine off. Now, staying in the apartment wasn't a choice. I was stuck. 

Yep, I'm an expert at making myself feel more lonely.

Anyway, I've been trying to keep my mind and body busy, to pass the time productively, but my spirits are still a little low—like my tires. I've always be a firm believer that to be happy you have to actively choose joy. That you are responsible for your own happiness. 

But man, choosing joy can be hard work to do.

(Listen to Yourself image and Choose Joy image via the Year of Lettering)