Monday, February 2, 2015

Oh, Baby

Yesterday, the hubs and I went to a casual house party to watch the Super Bowl, but at the end of the night, after the New England Patriots beat the Seattle Seahawks, I realized that I had spent all of five minutes max actually watching the game. While at first the men and women were mixing and mingling together, inevitably the boys congregated in one room to watch the game (around the smaller TV, funny enough) and the gals lounged on the couch to chat.

Most of the ladies were knew to mewives of Coasties that G works with at Sector St. Pete. The moment I walked into the home, an adorable 2-year-old girl grabbed me by the hem of my dress and started leading me around, speaking in almost indecipherable baby talk. I quickly learned that her mother (who is five years younger than me) is seven months pregnant with baby No. 2. The sweet blonde toddler then took me by the hand and led me to meet another party guest, who just gave birth to a baby girl eight weeks ago. A little while later, another couple joined the party and I discovered that the wife is two months pregnant.

So, given the ladies assembled, it is no surprise that our attention veered far away from football and our conversation centered around pregnancy, babies and motherhood. (And I surprised everyone with all my strange-things-that-happen-during-pregnancy knowledge. Thanks, mommy blogs!) While there was one other lady there who hasn't given birth and isn't currently knocked up, she has decided that she doesn't want to have kids. I, on the other hand, couldn't feel more differently. 

As a young girl, I always thought I'd have kids by now. But isn't that always how it is? I also thought I'd get married earlier than I did. I know it's not a race, it's not a competition, there's no right or wrong timeline. But with my 30th birthday two months away, my desire to get pregnant sooner than later is stronger than ever. I feel like I have been in a perpetual state of baby fever since G and I tied the knot. I think about boy and girl names, I have way too much fun picking out newborn clothes and gifts for my mama friends, and my heart aches a little when I see a tiny babe, a baby bump or even a "we're expecting!" announcement. (My Facebook feed is full of cute baby pictures, sonogram images and belly shots.)

Of course, like so many other things in my life, this is a situation for which I am not in total control. Due to our travel plans this spring, we initially had to put trying for a baby on hold. While our goal, as newlyweds, was to be pregnant by the end of 2014, our hope now is to have happy news to share this year. Nevertheless, remember that woman I told you about, that just gave birth eight weeks ago? She shared with me that it took her and her husband a year and a half of trying before getting pregnant. Plus, since her husband is assigned to a boat that gets underway for two months at a time, she often flies home to Ohio to be around friends and family who can help with caring for her newborn. So no matter what I hope, dream and plan for, I realize that I will just need to practice patience. And trust in the timing of my life, of my and G's life. It's our story, no one else's, and the baby chapter will come when ... well, I don't know when. Until then, I'll do my best to enjoy this time of my life, right now.

But I'll still dream up and write down new, favorite baby names. I've been doing that since elementary school and there's just no breaking that habit (no matter how many times G vetoes my ideas!).

Any ladies out there that can relate to my struggle? Knowing you need to enjoy the stage of life you're in and not compare yourself to (or wish you had) others' lives?

P.S. This is a good reminder for myself today.

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